Everyone who has read more than one description of BDSM from the communities themselves, will know that communication is key. In the previous post about the movie 9 1/2 Weeks, I complained about the lack of communication between the partners and warned to not make the same mistake. And what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t provide the solution? Well, in this case the solution is provided by The KinkKit. This service sends you boxes full of kinky goodies, with a focus on pleasure and communication. Or as they phrase it:
Part of our mission at The KinkKit is to help partners open up and communicate openly about their intimate needs and desires — through fun exploration of sexy games and activities!
Sounds pretty good, right? With the release of the Kinkkit Art of Spank this week, I thought it was time to spend some time discussing this business.
The KinkKit process
So how can you get these? Well, it’s pretty simple really:
Choose between their six starter boxes (and counting); or take the test to help you choose between the three introductory kits. Then, as in your dating life, you can choose between different levels of commitment, or sexscriptions: a short fling (1 kit), casual dating (4 kits per year, pay quarterly) or the committed relationship (4 kits per year + extra features, pay annually). The kits are designed for couples and are gender neutral. This is great for switching roles, as well as for same-sex couples and/or people of non-binary genders. Though extremely inclusive in the gender/sexuality areas, for people in more-than-two poly relationships, the couples privilege in the descriptions and games might be a bit on the heavy side. However, after looking at some of the games, I’m absolutely sure that they can be easily adapted to share the joy with more than two bodies.
The Kinkkits
With six options (Spank, Tease, Healing, Presence, Control and Restraint), the choices are limited. Though of course, the products in the kits themselves can, with some experience, be used for more than the games they come with. Though they’re all great, there are two boxes I want to discuss in particular. For both boxes, The Kinkkit worked together with sex educators to develop the games and instructions.
Spank Kinkkit
Like I said before, the Spank kit is the latest release. As all Kinkkit boxes, the Spank kit is great for people without much experience. It contains the essentials (paddle, ruler, soothing skincare) as well as more surprising products. (I myself would not have thought to put surgical markers and paint brushes in there.) It comes with card games, counting games… and math games. Well, Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay! Generally, it looks like fun. And definitely educational. When asked about the Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consesual Kink (RACK) elements of the kits, the developers told me:
Every Kit is designed to get couples communicating at every stage of intimate play – whether with temperature checks, during aftercare, with safe words or stoplight codes, or switching power roles during a game. We wanted to demonstrate to our users that there are more ways to show and test consent than with a simple “Yes” or “No”.
Sounds pretty good to me.
Healing Kinkkit
My safety concerns were mostly about the Healing kit, designed for people with sexual traumas. To take unguided steps out of the comfort zone does not appear to be an advice to give to every survivor of traumatic experiences. I am always a bit hesitant to generalize, especially in these cases. However, more than in any other kit, the healing kit focusses on communication. It provides frameworks to communicate desires and limits; offers affirmations; and provides tools to induce soft physical sensations. Additionally, the developers warn the users that this kit does not replace therapy. According to the Kinkkit team, they
wanted to provide a pleasure-positive experience that focuses on the part of the healing process where you begin to explore intimacy again with a partner. The focus of the activities is on providing mindful, compassionate opportunities for touch, and we offer specific communication frameworks for partners to discuss limits and boundaries .
Of course, after having had a traumatic experience one should always be careful to reflect on what one’s comfortable with. But for people with this specific desire, to explore intimacy again, this kit seems like a good idea.
Critical Spankings
Of course, I do have some slight critical spankings:
- It’s a bit of a shame that the Taste Test is quite short and simple. It will let you choose between three desires and consequently will advice one of three instead of their six boxes. If you would like to find out what form of kink to start with, you will have to find one of the many tests online and come back to select a kit after.
- The prices for the kits are quite high. With everything included in the box that’s unsurprising. And to buy every toy included seperately would definitely be more expensive. However, as the kits are targeted at people without much experience, the price will definitely be a hurdle. What if you select the spankkit and realize that in reality you don’t enjoy it as much as in your fantasies? (I cannot imagine that, but still…) I would personally like it if the games were sold seperately, so as to be more inclusive to the less confident and wealthy. Because it is these games where The Kinkkit distinguishes itself from other products on the market.
EDIT: The Kinkkit is doing a trial called “Just the tips,” where you can buy the games without the toys. This is also great for people with well-stocked dungeons who have run out of inspiration. - And if for now you’d just like to read, check out their blog (which they do not link to on their website).
So. If you are in a relationship; new to kink; and want to work on your relationship in fun and sexy ways, definitely check out the Kinkkit website. Even if you do not subscribe immediately, at least let them convince you of the need for communication and the fun of sex games.