Sex explained – Starting with the BDSM basics

February 7, 2020 97 Comments

This week on Kinkstarter, I have something for all the newbies. And the people who feel they don’t know how to explain their sexual fantasies. Based on some actual research by Justin Lehmiller, who is with the Kinsey Institute, the first episode of Netfix’ Sex Explained is all about sexual fantasies. And, unsurprisingly, power play turns out to be one of the big ones!

Bondage in Netflix' Sex Explained
79% of the people questioned had fantasies about Bondage

Along with group sex and novelty (in both location and equipment), power play is one of the three categories people fantasize about most. More specifically, Lehmiller found that 79% of the people questioned had had fantasies about bondage; 57% had had a fantasy about discipline; and 73% fantasized about pain. The thing I found most surprising here is not the high numbers. Rather, I think that considering this, it’s actually weird that the BDSM community is still considered a minority! So, you should take this lesson away from the show: your fantasies are not as weird as you think.

Why you should watch Sex Explained

And that’s basically the message that this episode tries to convey. Not only do they show the numbers, they trace BDSM fantasies back throughout history. In the episode they mention the Marquis de Sade. They introduce Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. And they even discuss the long history of racial power play! In this episode, they cover taboo, porn and sexual identity. And they do it well. Which I don’t think it’s bad for an 18 minute documentary-episode!

So, if you ever wondered whether your fantasies fall in a bell curve.. Or if you have a hard time coming to terms with or communicating your desires… And have about half an hour to spare.. Just watch the first episode of Sex Explained. It will make you feel less of an outsider and may help you feel confident when sharing your needs. And help you get the kinky life you want.

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