The Dominatrix and the Comedian – Netflix’ Bonding

What happens when a shy gay kid decides to be a Dominatrix‘ assistant? Well, you get to see bravery, a wide range of fetishes and some instances of questionable consent (more later on). On the 24th of April, Netflix released the show “Bonding”. In its 15 minute episodes, this show manages to entertain; bring up deeper issues; show the light and dark sides of fetishes and sex work; and make us care about the characters. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

Netflix’ Bonding story

Tiff and Pete used to be best friends in college, had sex after prom, and lost touch after. Now they both live in New York and Tiff needs a cleaner/bodyguard/assistant: “the Kevin Costner to my Whitney Houston”. In desperate need of money, Pete agrees. He is a waiter and we are led to believe that he does not have much beyond that job. Except maybe sitting backstage at a comedy club (too afraid to perform himself). Oh, and tip-toeing around his sex-obsessed, crazy and surprisingly nice landlord.

In contrast, Tiff’s life is pretty full. She is in grad school, studying to be a psychiatrist. She has a succesful practice as a Dominatrix, and even at home she’s busy. One of her male clients comes to her house, dresses in a leather mask and a maid‘s outfit and does chores whilst she casually abuses him. See below, for a picture where she throws the coffee he just brought her on his torso, because it is too hot:

Your Kink’s not my Kink…

After accepting Tiff’s offer, Pete’s introduced to the world of fetish straight away. He partakes in BDSM scenes involving abduction; humiliation; golden showers; tickling; and domestic slavery. The message of this show seems to be that everyone has a fetish. You can especially see that in the scenes where a woman hires them to please her husband, whose fetish is being tickled. When Tiff is off with him, Pete finds out by talking to this woman, that her husband’s fetish makes her so mad she wants to hit people. In a later episode we learn that they come to an agreement, where she tickles him until she gets too angry; after which she hits him to get her own pleasure. Strangely, they do appear to be genuinely satisfied with this arrangement. Though Tiff has her own ideas about that, and honestly, so do I.

Then there is Pete’s heterosexual and high-libido roommate/landlord, who dreams about someone fingering him anally. We hear his girfriend suggest to him that he can pay people to do that to him but she is not going to ruin her nails. (This fetish takes an interesting turn later). Pete himself turns out to be into feet, though he has never been able to admit this to anyone. Though some of Tiff’s clients really go for the D/s element, like her domestic slave and a recurring client with fantasies of abduction and humiliation, it is a show more about how common seemingly “uncommon” sexual interests are. And that teaches us that the Flintstones can be used as trafficlight-style safewords. Very creative indeed.

…but is it okay?

So about the questionable consent. Where we would expect this from the professional Dominatrix, her reasons are pretty solid. In her past, Tiffany learned that sex was the only thing men wanted her for. Which is a problem of course. But for Tiff, this job is about control, something she enjoys both with her clients and in all other aspects of her life. Funny enough, Netflix’ Bonding managed to show this grad student/Dominatrix as a strong woman who chooses her own path, whilst still showing her vulnerabilities. No, it is actually the main character Pete, who shows the potentially problematic relationship between sex and money when it comes to “sex workers“.

Though he and Tiff (arguably) never “have sex” with clients, Pete feels pressed to do things he’s uncomfortable with. Such as fingering his landlord in exchange for this month’s rent. Or peeing on one of Tiff’s clients, who starts to develop a liking for Pete. He makes these decisions himself, yes, but his reasons are not as solid: it is out of financial need and Tiff manipulating him into it that he chooses to consent. Now with all the money Tiff gives him, the financial need does seem to get less and less convincing, but still, how consensual is this exactly?

To watch or not to watch Netflix’ Bonding, that is the question

Anyway, apart from some questions to mull over, this is actually a pretty fun and lighthearted representation of BDSM, in an easily accessible format (what’s up with 15 minute episodes, Netflix?). The relationship between the main characters is cute, the fetishes varied and the outfits hot. And the characters are well developed, especially considering how little time we have to start caring about them. So, if you have two hours to spare, definitely binge-watch the 7 episodes of Netflix’ Bonding that have been released so far. And try not to fall in love with the characters too much, before you know it, you’re through all off the episodes and left with a whole in your heart.